What will the furture bring?

This weekend was a lot of fun. Meme and Grandpa have been here for a few days to see Savannah in her program. Oh Saturday, we decided to go to the park for a while. It was a nice, a little warm, but still nice for the park. Well, Brian remembered that UCF was having their spring game, so he and Grandpa went. Brian was thinking he would like to take Savannah with him. While I would have loved to have some free time, I didn't think this was a stellar idea. Meme and I were not going so it would be two less people to run after her. So, off they went to the game while Meme and I brought Savannah back home. We actually had a very relaxing time at home. We watched The Wild and all took a little nap. I was able to finish up my book and Meme and I both did some knitting. It was nice! Savannah rarely lets us have this kind of relaxing afternoon, so we really enjoyed it. And Brian and Grandpa enjoyed the UCF game as well.

Sunday was the big event. We went to see Beethoven Lives Upstairs at the performing arts center. Savannah had a really good time. The first hour is the instrument "petting zoo". You get to walk around and "pet" or try out all the different instrument families. She was able to try the clarinet, flute, harp, violin, cello, trumpet, trombone, and drums. Her favorite was the harp. Hopefully that will alter someday to an instrument that is a little more practical! The second hour is the performance. She sat very well during the whole program, at least, well for a four year old! There was a little fidgeting, but she did well. There were tons of little excerpts of Beethoven pieces. She really loves to listen to Beethoven so I figured she would like this. I look forward to seeing more of these programs in the future.

Seeing Savannah playing all these instruments and then seeing her play doctor, giving everyone in the house a check-up, made me think of the future. What will she become? What kind of person will she be? Will she ever be able to express herself without yelling? Will she be able to sit and eat and have a normal conversation? Some days I feel stuck in whatever phase she is in. I think it is getting better and then we get pulled back down into it again. I know eventually we will move on to something new. I am really trying to work on my outlook. My mother-in-law was commenting on how you need to try to remember those good times and not just the difficult. I hear some people talk about how it is just going to get worse. This is hard for me because it just encourages the tendency to look at the negative all of the time. But, every once in a while you get the positive outlook. Those people who are able to see past the frustration and enjoy thier grown children. I pray that I can start to see the positives in our life and just keep working through the challenges. I really want to enjoy my time with Savannah and discover who she is and who she is going to become. I cannot do this without letting go of the negative. I am reading a book by Sandra Lee right now. She is one of the Food Network stars and it is her memoir. She had an amazingly challenging life. I am enjoying seeing how she was able to rise above all that she went through to become the woman she is today. I bring this up because for the first 5 or 6 years of her life she lived with her Grandmother. It was the only time she felt safe and happy as a child. I want this time for Savannah to be happy. For her to be able to look back on her childhood and remember good things. I think that the more positive I can be the more happy she can feel. Mind you, I am not saying she should get everything she wants, because I do not think this produces a happy person. But, that is a different topic all together :) So, as I stated, I am praying for patience and a positive outlook on life. And I look forward to seeing who and what Savannah will become.